Relationships

Do you find yourself CONSTANTLY making excuses about why your "significant other" is or is not doing something? Why is he or she REALLY not at the holiday party with you, family B.B.Q or wedding? What about the canceled dinners, forgotten birthdays....excuses for Valentines Day??? Are you REALLY okay with this?

Note: if you are that person who CONSTANTLY needs to explain to their friends, family and themselves why their significant other is not stepping up to the plate, then it's time to move on.

Why are so many people unhappy in their relationships with their "significant other?"

(I'm not talking about married people here...I'm talking about your typical "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship, possibly even engaged couples. I'm not focusing on marriage at this point because there is no "easy way out" whereas typical boyfriend-girlfriend, there is).

How many times have you heard your friends, both male and female, complaining about their significant others not being the way they would have liked, not treating them the way, or just not appreciating all that they do for them. Have you ever asked them,

"Then why are you still with them?"

I have. These are some of the following answers I hear, "security," "Well, we've been together so long," "I don't want to be alone," and the list goes on. Now my question is this, why would you sacrifice YOUR life for someone else who is NOT giving you the kind of emotional support, gratitude and appreciation that you are giving them, or at least trying to? Even if your NOT giving them ALL of those things, ask youself, why aren't you treating them the way you'd like to be treated? Okay, so if neither of you are happy in the relationship, wouldn't it be better to just be ALONE? Wouldn't you rather be your OWN person instead of being stuck in a dead-end relationship just because you feel, "secure?"

Answer me this: How "secure" are you in thinking that your significant other would make some huge sacrifice for you? Listen, if they have not made small sacrifices for you then what makes you think they would be there for you when you need them the most? Isn't that what "security" it? Someone who is there no matter WHAT when you need them? Is it true that people just really enjoy complaining? This might be part of it, but if you find yourself stuck as the "complainer" just put yourself in your friends shoes for a second...who REALLY likes a complainer a.k.a a "Debbie Downer?" Your right, no one.

If your afraid of being "alone," ask yourself why? What are you so afraid of? Is it finding out who YOU really are? Is it that you are afraid to get close to yourself?

FYI: in order to have a successful and fulfilling relationship, you MUST, I repeat MUST MUST MUST be "in love," with yourself, or at least COMFORTABLE with yourself. Understand what YOU like, what YOU are interested in, do things for YOU without having to answer to someone else who doesn't appreciate you (probably because you don't appreciate you). No matter how "secure" you feel, or how long you have been together already, if it's just not fulfilling, there is no point in wasting your time.

Who REALLY wants to be unhappy? No one grows up wanting to be miserable for the rest of their lives. Think of it this way, if you were smart enough to not have gotten married to this person in the first place, or if you are still waiting for them to ask but you know they never will, GET OUT NOW...there are no divorce fees and no legal documents to sign. DO IT FOR YOU! There is someone out there who WILL love you for YOU and who WILL appreciate all the things you do! But REMEMBER: you MUST be comfortable with, LOVE and understand yourself BEFORE you can allow someone else to do that for you.

BE STRONG, life is too short to waste being unhappy. You DESERVE to be happy.

How can a coach help? As a motivational coach, I work with my clients to finally realize exactly why they are feeling in a "rut" with their current relationship (or any situation). By asking powerful questions to get to the real TRUTH, together we can map out a plan of action so they can achieve a more fullfilling life.

Call me today: 610-220-5057 Email: Elizabeth@lizetzel.com